Month: June 2022

My Neighbor’s Faith: The Hijabi Monologues

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

June 5, 2022

My Neighbor’s Faith: The Hijabi Monologues

I Cor. 11: 4-6, 13-15

This morning, we are starting a new sermon series, “My Neighbor’s Faith,” which will compare the faith of our friends and neighbors.  Instead of telling you about a different faith each week, Paul and I want to share some experiences that people of various faiths have with one another.  We think it will help us all understand each other better.  I believe that we can be enriched by one another’s faith and wisdom and insights into the ways of God. 

When I was a teenager, I sang solos for the Christian Science congregation every month.  I was a member of the United Methodist congregation.  My mom was a Presbyterian.  I studied various religious traditions.  These religious traditions taught me that mutual love and respect was key.

While we are using a book entitled “My Neighbor’s Faith,” which is a series of essays by fifty-three different authors, we are drawing from only a few of those essays as well as our own experiences.  Interfaith dialogue is an important aspect of understanding one another.  It is also an essential part of understanding one’s own faith!  Until we know what others believe, it is difficult to distinguish our own beliefs and truly know why we believe what we believe.  Jonathan Edwards said, “We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough religion to make us love one another.” 

The truth is that at its roots all religion speaks of the Mystery of Life that seeded all of us into life, that holds the cosmos in Being, that is the ultimate End of all our hope.  It is the Unity for which we seek, the Oneness of Life that has many faces and speaks in many tongues.         (From Joan Chittister)

Several years ago, when I was on my annual trek to Maine, my cousin and I were intrigued by a play at the University of Maine in Augusta, called “The Hijabi Monologues.”  A hijabi is not an Arabic word but is a part of the Muslim American lingo and refers to a Muslim woman who wears a headscarf.  The monologues are based on true experiences of Muslim women in North America – not just their head coverings.

Many religious traditions have a custom of head coverings – for women or men, or both.  In fact, the practice of people wearing head covers and veils for religious purposes is an integral part of all three monotheistic religions (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam), as well as other faiths and cultures. The first records of women wearing head coverings dates back to 13th century BCE in Assyria. Women of nobility began wearing head coverings in order to set themselves apart from women of lower social status. 

  • In the Roman Catholic church, veils are part of the habit worn by some orders of nuns or religious sisters.
  • Veils come in assorted sizes and shapes depending on the religious order. The wearing of chapel veils was part of the early Christian tradition. It signified humility and modesty. Of course, many brides of both Protestant, Roman Catholic and non-religious traditions still wear veils. The tradition is not to be seen as a woman displaying inferior status to men. Rather, the veil covers what is sacred and cherished.
  • A Kamilavka is a cylindrical hat worn in Eastern Orthodoxy by men and women and is also covered with a veil.
  • Bishops in the Roman-Catholic Church wear a miter.  It is a tall, peaked hat with a deep cleft on both sides. And two ribbons at the back symbolize the Old and New Testaments.]
  • A sheitel is a wig worn by Jewish women to cover the head.
  • A Tichel (literally meaning, cloths) are scarves that are worn either over a wig or their own hair by Jewish women.  The word Tichel is Yiddish in origin.  Jewish women are obligated to wear a tichel in synagogue.
  • The practice of men wearing yarmulkes is an ancient tradition for Jewish men and boys that honors God’s presence.  Jewish law requires men and boys to cover their head when they pray, at synagogues or Jewish cemeteries, and while studying Judaism.
  • Sikh men and women view the dastar (a type of turban) as an article of faith representing honor, self-respect, courage, spirituality, and piety. Wearing a dastar is also practical because it keeps long, uncut, and unruly hair covered.
  • Amish women of cover their heads with a simple white or black organdy head bonnet. They pin their long hair up underneath these prayer head coverings, removing them in the evening. The style, shape, and color of the cap varies by community. Amish men always wear a distinctive type of straw hat when they are out of the house.

When we, as Americans, are critical of Middle Eastern women covering their heads and assert that it is sexist, we show our ignorance about head coverings in many other religious traditions for both men and women for millennium.  We would not say the same of a Jewish man who wears a yarmulke or an Amish man who wears a straw hat or a Jewish woman who wears a wig.  All of these head coverings are for the purpose of honoring God and showing self-respect, courage, and piety.

This is our traditional word from I Cor. 11: 4-6 & 13-15:   But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ. Any man who prays or prophesies with something on his head shames his head,but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled shames her head—it is one and the same thing as having her head shaved.  Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head unveiled? Does not nature itself teach you that, if a man wears long hair, it is dishonoring to him,but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

The Hijabi Monologues is a series of monologues by Muslim women, some who wore hijabs, one who wore a burka, and a couple who did not cover their heads.  The play opened my eyes to the experiences of Muslim women in America; not simply why they veil or do not, but who they are inside and what their faith is about.  The stories are sad and funny; and represent the experiences of older and younger women.  I remembered my friend, Nabil Seyam, when I asked him why some in the Islamic Society of Wichita, had women who wore a hijab and others did not, responded, “Robin, do all of your parishioners practice their faith in exactly the same way?”  And I snorted my response.  I realized that my question to him was an ignorant one indeed.  Of course, Muslim people have a variety of ways to express their faith – some are more observant and exacting with their practices than others.

The Hijabi Monologues begins with a monologue called “I’m Tired.”  It is a story that expresses the frustration of feeling that one is constantly called upon to represent all people of the Muslim faith because she is the only Muslim people in her circle know.  She also feels the pressure of having to always be a model citizen.  It is a daunting role, especially when people ask questions of her – expecting an answer that characterizes the whole of Islam – as if she knows what every Muslim believes or thinks about any given topic! 

The next monologue is “The Football Story.”  It is a tale of two young women in college, one with a cloth that covers her face, who attend a major college football game and they end up praying in the ABC sports new trailer during the game when the time of prayer comes!

I was reminded of this powerful play when I was preparing for our sermon series.  So, I looked and found the monologues!  Of course, it would be inappropriate for me to perform any of the monologues for you as a white American Christian.  But I want to tell you about one of the monologues.  It is titled “The People You Meet.”

The woman on stage (who wears a hijab but is clearly an Islamic American) starts by exclaiming that she has met some people she will never forget – for the rest of her life!  And she wonders if it is random or if there is some greater purpose in the meeting.  Then she names the type of people she has met.  The first is the liberal integrationist!  She met them in a modern British poetry class and found it inspiring to see them fascinated to study poetry for the sake of poetry.  But at the end of the semester, they approached her to say what a pleasure it had been to meet her with these words, “My dear, your accent is simply excellent.  It is so American.  Keep it up!”

The next person she is describes she calls the Democratizing-Women’s Rights-World Peace Activist!  She says she met this woman right after Afghanistan was bombed by the US and some people were feeling guilt about freeing Afghani women from the clutches of what she describes as “evil brown men.”  This woman approached her in a parking lot.  “Honey, honey, I have to tell you something!”  “Honey, you’re free!”

“What?”

“Honey, Mullah Omar can’t get you!”

“But, ma’am, I don’t know Mullah Omar…?”

She looked confused, “But you are free!  Talibans and Afghans are free!”

She was incredibly sweet, so the Hajabi woman politely noted, “I’m sorry, Ma’am; I don’t know Mullah Omar.”

“Where are you from?”

“Fort Lauderdale”

“Oh… Fort Lau-der-dale?” she said it slowly while looking up and down and wondering if it was a city in – perhaps – Saudi Arabia.

And then there was the Cultural Anthropologist.  He walked behind her for several minutes before asking, “So, could you tell me.  I have been so curious.  I notice some girls wear black coverings.  But you are wearing purple.  Is it a cue of tribal interstitial kinships?  An artifact of a cultural paradigmatic shift?  A sacrificial ritualistic positioning of power within your ingroup?  Really, why purple?”

“Uhm, well, I guess because it matches with my…. Dress?”

“Oh.  It matches…”

Finally, there was the creepy Neo-Nazi.  They were standing together at the train stop and he offered her a cigarette.  She declined.  He followed her onto the train once it stopped and asked, “So, what do you think of that problem over there?”

“Over where?”

“You know, over there.  The Jews.  The Muslims.”

She says she felt her scarf sticking to her sweaty neck.

“What do you mean?  Are you referring to the Palestinian-Israeli conflict?”

Then he told her that he thought Jews should be exterminated.

She noticed then, when she looked down at her own brown hands and then glanced at his hands that he had a small swastika tattooed on his wrist.  She stepped off the train at the next stop.

However, she offers, sometimes you meet that human being who is also in search of meaning and looking for someone who might understand.  When she was in the library one morning, someone put a note beside her.  A young, heavy-set woman quickly walked away, wiping tears from her eyes.  She picked up the note, unfolded it and read what was written inside to her: “In these times when women are confronted with intense pressure to conform and achieve impossible standards of beauty, you have made the choice to be different.  Thank you for being an inspiration.  You make me realize there’s hope.”

And, she noted, these were the moments that made all the others pale… and give her hope. 

Resources Used:

     “My Neighbor’s Faith” edited by Jennifer Howe Peace or N. Rose & Gregory Mobley.  New York: Orbis Books.  2021.

     “The Hijabi Monologues Project Manual and Script.”  Sahar Ishtiaque Ullah.  2009.  https://serendipstudio.org

https://www.headcovers.com/resources/hats-scarves/religious-head-coverings

After the Rain: Forgiveness

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

May 29, 2022

After the Rain: Forgiveness

Proverbs 17:9; Matt. 6:14; Eph. 4:31

The late Bishop Lance Webb used to tell a story about a 5-year-old boy who misbehaved.  His mother decided to give him a bit of quiet time. She had a large closet.  So, she pushed back the hangers in the closet so there would be room for his chair.  She turned on the light and told him he would have to stay in the closet for 30 minutes.  She heard strange sounds inside the closet, then everything got quiet.  The mother was curious, so she opened the door. “Jimmy,” she asked, “what on earth are you doing?”  The little boy replied defiantly, “I just pulled all your clothes down and spit on them.  I spit on your shoes, too.  Now I am just sitting here waiting on more spit.”

We may know some grownups who get angry and react the same way, at least metaphorically.  You can look at them and tell they are just sitting around waiting on more spit.  Indeed, all of us tend to harbor grievances against other people.

We all know that being forgiving is healthy. Medical science has linked a failure to forgive with all kinds of ailments, including stress, anxiety, depression, headaches, backaches, stomach distress, diabetes, hypertension, and heart problems.  Forgiveness is difficult, though.  Especially if someone who has hurt us is not sorry.   Jesus taught His disciples about forgiveness as He gave them His model prayer, The Lord’s Prayer.  New Testament scholar William Barclay called Matthew 6:12 the most dangerous petition in the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.”  When we pray this prayer, but we know we have an unsettled grudge against someone, we are asking God not to forgive us!

Proverbs 17:9 tells us:  Love prospers when a fault is forgiven but dwelling on it separates close friends.  To forgive is to let go.  To let go is to relinquish control and get acquainted with our vulnerability and our courage. 

I have considerable experience with forgiveness.  When I was a young adult, I believed that forgiving someone made me vulnerable.  But as time passed, I realized that I was the most vulnerable when I refused to forgive… and it was the worst kind of vulnerability – because I caused it by being a slave to my stubborn choice to hold on to another person’s problem.  By spending untold energy on what other people did, I allowed their problems to take up space in my life.  Refusing to forgive and let go caused me the most stress and pain – not the other person.

In Matt. 6:14, Jesus taught, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you.”  None of us is perfect.  We openly acknowledge it.  But when it comes down to it, we would prefer that others function as if they are perfect.  Furthermore, we kick ourselves when we are not perfect.  And we are often unwilling to give others the benefit of the doubt when they disappoint us.  We attribute guilt quickly and we condemn others quickly. 

In one church I served, there was a couple who participated in every aspect of the church’s life.  Everyone in the church agreed that this couple should be nominated for sainthood.  They were the most unselfish, loving, giving people I had ever met.  They had been members of the church for more than 40 years.  They lived with truly little – some would say they lived in poverty – by choice.  And they shared all that they had.  Often, the woman would take an item from the church and spruce it up at home or clean it and then return it.  This couple also had a huge garage sale at their home each year.  Sometimes, they took things that were donated to the church, had no practical use, and sold them at the garage sale and then donated the money to the church.

One day, another woman came into my office.  I could tell she was angry.  She had been looking for decorations in the storage room and she could not find them.  She wanted an answer to where they were, and she wanted someone to blame for the missing decorations.  I did not know what to tell her.  As she stomped out of my office, she said, “I bet so-and-so took those decorations home!”  The person she named was none other than the wonderful woman I just spoke about.  It was clear that she was insinuating that this beloved person had ill-intent with the missing decorations.  I could not believe my ears.  To name that person and say that she had evil intent was like slamming God herself!

I thought about this situation for a long time.  Then I realized that the woman who had been so angry was feeling bad that she could not give as much of herself as the other woman.  She was jealous or resentful and needed someone to blame for her feelings.  She chose the most unlikely person so that she could make herself look better.  This woman had not experienced grace herself and she could not share it with anyone else, even someone who deserved it.

Why are we so hard on others?  Often it is because we have not taken the first step and forgiven ourselves for whatever we have done wrong.  We need to feel forgiveness in our own lives and know that freedom for ourselves.  You have heard the saying “Confession is good for the soul.” 

Ephesians 4:31 reminds us: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”  You have probably heard the phrase, “I will forgive, but I won’t forget” or something like that.  I understand the sentiment, even though it may not be the best practice for true forgiveness.  You may remember Clara Barton founded the American Red Cross. On day, a reporter asked her about an especially cruel thing that had been done to her years before. Miss Barton seemed not to recall the incident. “Don’t you remember?” asked the reporter. “No,” said Miss Barton, “I distinctly remember forgetting that incident.”

Allow the joy and freedom of God’s and your own forgiveness to overwhelm and excite you.  Once you know this peace, you can share it with others.  This does not mean that we allow ourselves to be victims again or allow someone to hurt us over again – but it does indicate that we can offer grace to them as we have experienced it.

Forgiveness does not mean excusing something or pretending it did not happen. Some people think if you forgive someone who has bullied, cheated, or abused you, you must pretend the offense did not really happen or that it was not so bad after all.  Not so!  Nor does it mean you have to expose yourself to more bullying, cheating or abuse.  The idea is not to distort reality.  To forgive is to cleanse your heart of poison, the poison of resentment.  That poison can wreck your relationship with God, spoil your disposition, harm you physically and steal your joy.

Forgiveness is not the same thing as pardon.  You may forgive someone who wronged you while still insisting on a just punishment for that wrong.  If someone breaks into your car and steals your possessions, then the police arrest the thief, you can and should forgive the person but still press charges.  The thief owes a debt to society. 

Consider what happened in South Africa.  After decades of apartheid and racial hatred, the structures of bigotry were dismantled.  A Truth and Reconciliation Commission was set up under the leadership of Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  If a person came before the commission and confessed his or her sins, he or she was forgiven.  Miraculously, the nation was able to cleanse itself of revenge.  Nelson Mandela was released from prison after 27 years and was elected President!  Archbishop Tutu authored a book titled No Future without Forgiveness. He claimed forgiveness will work all over the world! 

Forgiveness is not a burden, but a blessing.  When we forgive ourselves and others, we create a wide space in which growth is possible – new possibilities are available – where happiness, freedom and authenticity is celebrated!  This is what God intended for us – to live authentic and abundant lives – forgiven and free!

Resources Used:

     Elle, Alexandra.  “After the Rain; Gentle Reminders for Healing, Courage, and Self-Love”.  San Francisco: Chronicle Books.  2020.

     Bouknight, Bill.  “Stop Fuming, Start Forgiving!”  preaching.com.  

After the Rain: Acceptance

After the Rain: Acceptance

Romans 14: 10-19

The Serenity Prayer says, “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr composed the prayer in 1932–1933.  The prayer spread rapidly, often without attribution to Niebuhr, through church groups in the 1930s and 1940s and was adopted and popularized by Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step programs.  The rest of the prayer goes like this:

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Niebuhr was a perceptive thinker.  It is so important for us as adults to create room in our minds for understanding what we can and cannot control.  We can waste so much time trying to make people love/like us; see us talk to us; understand us.  Accepting what we cannot change is difficult indeed.

Acceptance isn’t rooted in trying to force others to be cognizant of their actions or demanding that they show up in ways they aren’t capable of.  It is the practice of doing our own personal work when it comes to being in relationships with people.  We may long for clarity as to why people act the way they do, but they do not owe us an explanation.

The early Christians in Rome had some difficulties that were real and troublesome!  The Christians in Rome were a diverse group of believers. These Roman congregations were made up of two entirely different groups of people. They consisted of Jewish converts who grew up with the Law, and traditions of the Hebrew Bible. They also consisted of Gentiles, or non-Jews. The ethnic ratio of these churches is unknown, but it is thought that there are more Gentiles since the Jews had been expelled from Rome just a few years prior to the writing of Romans.  But when you have Jewish converts with Gentile ones, a common question and problem always arises: what do you do with the old food laws and feast days?  The Jewish converts grew up with those traditions and rules while the Gentiles did not.

The Hebrew laws had prescribed the dos and don’ts for food in places like Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14.  In those chapters, we see what is okay for the Israelites to eat, and what is not okay for them to eat.  The people were not allowed to eat unclean animals like camel, eagles, reptiles, certain insects, mice, and rabbits.  Not too bad so far, right?  But this list also included other foods like shrimp, lobster, oysters, and crab.  They could not eat pork either.  So, no sausage, ham, pork chops, pepperoni, or America’s current favorite food, bacon!  They also could not eat blood, so no medium to rare steaks.  They could eat clean animals like fish, oxen, sheep, goats, cows, and deer though.

Others in the early church – probably the Gentiles, whom Paul refers to as “those who understood their freedom in Jesus” ate what they wanted and held all days as alike.  As you could imagine, with two completely different views on this issue, problems arose, and they did.  This led to quarreling and fights.  It led the ones who ate to despise the ones who didn’t. The ones who didn’t eat passed judgment on those who did.  You can almost picture Paul like a parent with fighting children who yells out: “Stop!”

As Christians, we can have quarrels and fights over similar things even though we are just Gentiles.  That is why there are 700+ congregations in Wichita alone!  We can find all kinds of things to disagree about.  Here is the text from Romans:

Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written,

“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
    and every tongue shall give praise to God.”

So then, each of us will be accountable to God.

Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. If your brother or sister is being injured by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let what you eat cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died. So do not let your good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. The one who thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and has human approval. Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.                                                                                           Romans 14: 10-19

What Paul is saying here is that if shrimp is a problem between you and another person in the church, don’t eat shrimp.  Shrimp isn’t as important as the love we share in Christ.

What Paul is arguing is that if you don’t like how the ushers are doing their job, don’t make it a problem because we need to pursue the things that make for peace and mutual upbuilding.

What Paul writes in this text is that if someone acts in a way that bothers us, or says something that annoys us, or wears something that doesn’t quite fit our image of appropriate or does something that rubs us the wrong way… we are not to pass judgement on them!  Instead, we are to resolve to focus on our own actions.

What Paul tells the church in Rome is that the good of the community is more important than getting one’s own way.  That accepting the common good is more important than following the laws.  That peace and joy and love are better than passing judgment on another person.  That disagreements and misunderstandings happen, but love, compassion and community always triumph in the church.

What Paul is saying in this text is that we are free to eat and drink as we see fit – we are now free from the strict laws.  But we are not free to judge one another!

In fact, what Paul writes is, if you are so insistent on judging one another, judge this: how not to trip one another up!  Because when you cause someone in the community to make an error in their faith, you bring the whole community down.  Instead, Paul exhorts the people to take positive action to see how to make life easier for one another.  How can those who are strong in the community make life better or easier for those who are not as strong?

Christians, Paul insists, are the very last people, who should be judging others.  It is inappropriate.  It is not just about preventing squabbles and bad feelings in the church.  It is part of our essential Christian witness!  Genuine Christians grow to maturity at different rates and during this process one cannot hurry them to accept positions their conscience cannot allow.  Specifically, we must recognize that actual spiritual harm is caused to people when they are put in the position of being judged.

May God grant us the serenity

to accept the things we cannot change,

the courage to change the things we can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Resources Used:

Elle, Alexandra.  “After the Rain; Gentle Reminders for Healing, Courage, and Self-Love.”  San Francisco: Chronicle Books.  2020. 

“The New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary” vol. IX.  Nashville: Abingdon Press.  2015. 

wikipedia.org“The Serenity Prayer”.  April 8, 2022.

Sermoncentral.com.  “Food Fight!” By Nickolas Kooi.  Sept. 14, 2017. 

After the Rain: Time

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

May 1, 2022

After the Rain: Time

Ecc. 3: 1-12

Can anyone please tell me what time it is?  Do not bother looking at your watch.  I am not speaking about that kind of time!  In the Bible, time has a much broader meaning than the ticking of the clock.  That is what I would like for us to think about in the sermon today: What time is it spiritually… for you… for me… for us?

If your house is anything like ours, you have clocks in about every room.  There is a bit of an obsession about time that we have.  Most of us have clocks all around us – on our cell phones, our computers, on our TVs, and many other places around us.  Digital, and otherwise.  Seldom do they all agree.  One may read 10:56; while another says 10:54; while another is on straight up 11:00 o’clock. What time is it, really?

You know this, but we measure time from the rotation of the earth and the time it takes to revolve around the sun.  From there it is a simple matter of mathematics … only it does not come out even.  So, we must adjust – like the way we add an extra day to February every four years – only more minute.

The problem is the earth does not always rotate at a constant speed.  Depending on any number of variables, including erosion, volcanic activity, the tides, the polar ice caps … the speed of the earth spinning on its axis varies ever so slightly, and we must account for that by adding or taking away a millisecond or two.

When you think about it, it is amazing: The earth, like its Creator, has a mind of its own defying our precise calculation.

Well, in the same way, seconds fade into minutes, and minutes into hours, and hours into the days, weeks, months and years of our lives.  Just as the seconds tick away without our knowing exactly the time of day, so do we live out our lives in a shroud of mystery, never knowing for sure what time it is.

The Book of Ecclesiastes reminds us:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

What gain have the workers from their toil?  I have seen the business that God has given to everyone to be busy with. He has made everything suitable for its time; moreover he has put a sense of past and future into their minds, yet they cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.  I know that there is nothing better for them than to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they live.                                                                                                     Ecc. 3:1-12

Alexandra Elle wrote, “The greatest lesson I’ve adopted from time well spent – and time wasted – is that I am the gardener of my destiny.  Digging dirt and sifting soil.  Planting seeds and watching them grow, slowly and with an unrushed ease.  Time has never failed to offer clarity, perspective, and a sense of peace.”           

Time is our most precious resource.  It is perishable and irreplaceable.  God has given us all the same amount – 24 hours per day.  The quality, joy, and impact of our lives are related to how wisely we use the time we have.

This does not mean that we must hurry or hustle through life.  At this point you probably know that I am really preaching to the preacher, because I struggle with that type A syndrome like many of you.  Too many of us are stressed-out, over-committed, and spread too thinly.

Do you wonder whether you are using your time as a type A personality or if you are using it as God intended?  Here are a few clues:

  • If the traffic light turns green and the driver up front waits as long as three seconds to move out, a type A person might toot the horn.
  • Type A and OCD people like to do two things at once and doing three things simultaneously is heavenly.
  • A Type A person’s favorite inventions are e-mail and voice mail, so he can send messages to people 24 hours per day.
  • A TOCA member cannot watch TV unless she has a book, magazine, or computer in hand, because the commercials are a waste of time!
  • A Type A person always drives eight-to-nine miles per hour over the speed limit.
  • As a Type A person passes someone driving right at the speed limit, he mumbles, “Come on, granny, drive it or park it.”
  • If the spouse or girlfriend of a Type A or OCD person says, “Let us take a stroll,” he responds, “How long will it take?”

In contrast, the Bible never says that Jesus rushed anywhere. He was usually busy but found time to pray a lot.  His total ministry was accomplished in a few short years, but he found time to play with children, to investigate a fig tree, to take a nap during a boat ride, to rest at noontime beside a well, and to attend a wedding reception.

Look again at our traditional word for today.  Please note that the text provides us a beloved list of things for which there is a proper time.  We do not know why things occur at their time… they just do.  In verses 2-8, there are fourteen antitheses, which encompass twenty-eight experiences know to all human beings.  The first item on the list, “a time to be born, and a time to die” is clearly out of human hands, but the rest involve human choices. 

In verse eight, the human experiences of love and hate; war and peace are raised.  However, the writer reverses the order in the final clause – putting peace at the end.  That creates a bracket of the entire poem: it starts with birth and ends with peace.  Further, their antitheses: death and war and demoted to realities that are profound and universal but have neither the first nor the last word.  This is important, say the commentators.  It is not by accident.  The first thing about time is that we are born.  The last thing about our time is that we know peace.  This is God’s intention.  In-between, we make choices which can work for good or not.

Our striving during our time is for a purpose: to enjoy our lives.  That is our purpose!  Please note that time in the first eight verses is not set or manipulated by God.  God’s name is not mentioned until the final paragraph about purpose and only then is it mentioned that the enjoyment of life is the reason for our time.

As we age and mature, we have more choices about how we spend our time.  Time can be our nemesis or our friend.  It can help us accomplish what we set out to do or it can rob us of what is most important.  Time can offer us clarity, perspective, and peace.  The thing we all know about time is that it does not stop or slow down.  And how we invest and spend it is an art form.

I have good friends who know how to use their time wisely.  They know what they want from their time, and they set out decisively each week to plan their schedules purposely so that their time is spent intentionally doing what is important to them: quality time with grandchildren; exercising their bodies for health; enjoying their friends with social and creative activities; reading; volunteering; downtime with their spouse; and so forth.  They are using their time wisely and purposefully instead of allowing time to get the best of them.  I have suggested to them that they might want to author a book or teach a class to instruct others on how to retire successfully – but they say that is not how they want to spend their time 😊

I do not even know if the soap-opera Days of our Lives is still on TV.  I remember my grandma watching it.  Who can forget the voice of the late MacDonald Carey, saying, “Like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives”?  He is right, you know.  Sand never runs upward in the hourglass.  Each grain of sand, like each day, is unrepeatable.  It is a distinctive 24-hour gift from God, and we are the stewards of that time.  Between being born and having God’s given peace, what choices will we make about our time?

Resources Used:

     Elle, Alexandra.  “After the Rain; Gentle Reminders for Healing, Courage, and Self-Love.”  San Francisco: Chronicle Books.  2020. 

     “The New Interpreters Bible Commentary.”  Vol. III.  Nashville: Abingdon Press.  2015. 

     Bouknight, Bill.  “Time, Our Most Precious Resource.”  Preaching.com.

Learn to Live by Dying!

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

April 17, 2022

Learn to Live by Dying!

John 12:20-24

John 20: 11-18

Our Easter text for this morning is from the gospel of John 20: 11-18:

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 

Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, “Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord;” and she told them that he had said these things to her.                                                                            John 20:11-18

As you may know, the Phoenix is a legendary bird known for its ability to live hundreds of years before dying in a burst of flames only to be reborn from the ashes. Variations of the legend exist in folklore throughout the world, and it is a common figure in popular culture today.

According to the most common myth, the Phoenix was a brightly colored immortal bird-like creature, like an eagle or a peacock, which lived in Paradise. After about a thousand years, the Phoenix grew tired of immortality and desired to move on, so it left Paradise for the mortal world. However, even in the mortal world, the Phoenix could not truly die. It built a nest and waited for the sun to rise. As the son god dragged his chariot across the sky, the Phoenix sang a song so beautiful that the sun god stopped to listen. When he resumed his journey, a spark fell from the sky and ignited the nest, consuming the Phoenix. Three days later, the Phoenix was reborn from the ashes to live another thousand years.                                                      Curioushistorian.com “Legend of the Phoenix”

As it has been Holy Week, I have been thinking about all things that lead from death to life.  Many of us have lived through enough seasons to recognize the rhythm of death and life in…

  • Night and day
  • Winter and spring
  • Seedtime and harvest
  • Labor and birth
  • Divorce to a new lease on life
  • Loss of a job to a new career
  • Raising kids to empty nest
  • Retirement to volunteering
  • Loss of health to a new normal

It makes sense that death precedes new life, but it still can catch us off-guard.  Jesus taught this lesson just before he died.  It is recorded in the gospel of John 12:20-24:

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.      John 12:20-24

We all have a choice in how we live. It seems so simple when I say that statement, but the next time we are fried from a long day at work, taking a child to a doctor’s appointment, then coming home to things that must be done — it would be beneficial to remind ourselves, exactly, how we want to live our lives.  Are we allowing the grain of our life to die enough that it will end up bearing fruit?

Siblings Justin and James fought throughout their childhood years.  Nothing changed in college as they continued to fight for their parents’ affection and attention and for the #1 place.  Eventually, Justin decided to let it go.  For reasons he did not share, he decided his unhealthy rivalry with his brother needed to end.  He chose to let the need to be first and to be unconditionally understood to die.  It opened a completely new relationship with his brother, James.  Surprisingly, it also changed his relationship with his parents too!  Justin could tell anyone here that if you really want to live – try dying! This is what resurrection means.

Morrie Schwartz said, “The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”  It is not a morbid statement.  It is a wise way to look at life. I do not want to think about death any more than anyone else does. But it is a part of life we must accept.  How do you live your life, to the fullest, with gratefulness, appreciation for those you love, value the tiny moments you are present in, and pursue your true meaning and purpose in life if you do not have an idea of what you want your life to look like? How do we put the resurrection principle into our daily lives?

Take a moment to think back to our traditional text about Mary Magdalene weeping outside the tomb.  It is in your bulletin if you want to remind yourselves of the details.  This was a life altering moment for Mary.  She was at the foot of the cross with Mary the mother of Jesus and Mary the wife of Klopas.  We can infer that because her introduction consists only of her name, the story’s original hearers already knew who she was. 

Mary, standing outside, is weeping because grieving is the proper role of women in their culture. When Mary looks into the tomb, she sees two heavenly messengers.  This is the first hint that the possibility of grave robbery has given way to some heavenly realm.  Peter and the other student do not see heavenly messengers. They ask, “Lady, why are you crying?” To which Mary responds once more that the body is missing. Grave robbery was a normal occurrence in that time.  Resurrection was not.

Jesus speaks her name, “Mary.” Naming shifts the story towards the Genesis creation story where God calls creatures into life by naming them. Mary recognizes Jesus at the sound of his voice.  “She turns around and exclaims in Hebrew, ‘Rabbuni!’ (which means ‘Teacher’).”  Turns around? I thought she was already looking at Jesus and thinking he was the gardener. “To turn” is often used as a metaphor to turn towards God.  This is when Mary learns to live again because Jesus has died!  Along with Jesus, this was her resurrection day. This was the day she started a new life!

Jesus commissions Mary to “go to my brothers and tell them this: ‘I’m ascending to my God and your (plural) God.’” Here Jesus stresses mutuality and equality. He is not superior, but a brother.  Mary announces Jesus’ message to the students.  Just when she thought her life was over because of Jesus’ death, he gave her a new voice!  She became the first one to announce his resurrection – to the disciples, no less.  Scholar Brandon Scott calls this the Mary Magdalene Easter!

                        Westarinstitute.org “Mary Magdalene Easter” by Brandon Scott

Life, death, and new life.  Throughout our lives, we experience many small deaths and renewals as we grow into our true selves.  Resurrection means transformation.  As we die into new life, we grow into the people God would have us to be.  We become a resurrection people: a people of rejoicing, a people of hope, a people of journey and becoming.

Whenever you face a moment of death in your life – whether it is a child moving to college or the release of a friendship or the closing of a business or a job – take a moment to think about what opportunities lie ahead for a new life. This is not always easy given the very real struggle and suffering that come along with the death of something.  But let us be a people of journey and becoming, living into the fullness of love without constraint, life without fear or hate, and life without end. Let us be a people who sing Hallelujah even as we travel.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “No one really knows why they are alive until they know what they’d die for.”  How do you want those you love the most to see you? What impact do you want to make on your friends, family, and those around you? Is this not worth examination to help fuel a better soul within?  It is possible to live the life we choose by our actions each day.  What will Jesus resurrect in you today?

Baptism Class

Dear Parents, Grandparents and UCC friends,

I am excited to announce that I am starting a new baptism class for children who are interested in being baptized. The class will be held this summer at the convenience of those who sign up (times and days to be determined).

Who: Any children/ youth interested in baptism

What: Class for children (parents can participate if they wish) 3-5 one-hour sessions

When: at a time determined by the participants

Where: at the church or at a home

How: In 1998, several colleagues and I wrote baptismal curriculum for progressive, open-minded churches. This curriculum was published by Chalice Press. It has been revised and reprinted over the years for new generations. We will use this curriculum, which is the basic Christian message:

* Hear & Believe

* Repent & Confess

* Be Baptized

* Forgiveness

* Receive the Holy Spirit

Mentor: In addition, the curriculum also calls for a mentor from the congregation to participate in the process with them. The mentor is usually not a parent, but someone special who walks with them through the journey – someone you may choose or someone I can recommend.

Infant Baptism: At UCC, we typically baptize infants. And that continues to be available! At the same time, there are many children in our church who have not been baptized and might be interested… and that is the reason for this class.

After the class, the participants may choose to be baptized. Call the church office with any questions – 316-641-5919.

“The Virtue in the Vice: Worthiness not Pride”

Robin McGonigle
University Congregational Church
March 6, 2022
“The Virtue in the Vice: Worthiness not Pride”
Proverbs 16:17-19
Once on a day that has been forgotten, in a long-forgotten room, among poverty and despair, a 16-year-old girl gave birth to a little boy. She did not name him. Perhaps she meant to give him a name, but just did not get around to it. There was no father to ask about it. Truth be told, she was not certain who the father was.
The nurse asked when filling out the paperwork what to put in the line for the child’s name. The mother replied, “He ain’t got no name.”
“We have to put something on the birth certificate,” said the nurse.
“Look, I’m tired,” sighed the mother. “I’m going back to sleep now.”
The nurse reluctantly wrote in “No Name” on his birth certificate, along with his mother’s last name – Maddox. Along with this name was the child’s inky little footprint. That is how this boy’s life started: as No Name Maddox. And when his mother remarried, he became No Name Manson.
When he turned nine or ten, he realized that his mom was really a prostitute. As a child, he laid in bed and heard the tell-tale sounds of her evening activities. No one had to tell him the truth. He just figured it out. Sometimes his mom sounded happy and sometimes she sounded fearful. Her son, listening in the night, was not always certain which was which. Now, as an adult, he still gets fear and happiness confused in his mind. As soon as he was old enough, he disappeared into the streets and stayed unknown for a long time.
Eventually, he resurfaced on the West Coast and had a name he had given himself: Charles. Charles Manson, who ran all over California, seeming to try to kill someone like his mother.
As a minister, I want to ask people like Charles Manson’s mom, “Weren’t you made for more than this?” So many times, I want to ask a person that question. “Weren’t you made for more than this?” It is because I genuinely believe that each of us is imprinted with God’s holy spark of divinity. We are made in the image of God. But I am jumping ahead of myself.
Today, we are starting on a new journey. The journey of Lent. As Paul told you in the Children’s Message:
• Lent is a 40-day journey leading us to Easter Day. Those 40 days represent the time Jesus spent in the wilderness before he started his public ministry.
• Lent started last Wednesday (Ash Wednesday) and ends on Holy Saturday (the day before Easter).
• Lent is a time of preparation, penitence, and fasting. Often, people “give up” something for Lent, such as meat or sweets. I have also encouraged people to “add something” for Lent – such as meditation, prayer, exercise, or reading.
• Lent started being practiced after Jesus’s death but was formalized in 325 CE.
• The day before Lent starts is known as Fat Tuesday and is celebrated with pancakes or Mardi Gras!
At UCC, our theme for Lent is focused on the seven deadly sins AND the 7 Life-Affirming Virtues that correspond with them. At the end of the service today, you will receive a small charm of a scale of justice to remind you that we strive for balance in our lives. Please use this scale of justice throughout the Lenten season to remind yourself of the balance required in your spiritual life. We are all sinners; and we also have proportionate opportunities for life-affirming virtues which enhance our souls. We will be using Robin Meyers’ book “The Virtue in the Vice” as a guide for these sermons. I taught Christian ethics at Newman
University for sixteen semesters, so I will be using my experiences from those classes as well.
Let me tell you a bit about how the seven deadly sins list came about! Long ago, before most humans could read or write, church leaders produced a list of sins so that people would know what NOT to do. This list is not in the Bible, per se. It was a list of the medieval church, and it was said that these were the worst of the worst things you could do that would keep you separated from God. The top seven were:
• Pride
• Envy
• Anger
• Lust
• Gluttony
• Greed
• Sloth
Along with these deadly sins, the church listed answers: the seven virtues:
• Humility
• Kindness
• Patience
• Chastity
• Abstinence
• Liberality
• Diligence
You might ask “Why Seven?” Remember that seven is a holy number: there are 7 days of the week; 7 days of creation; etc.
We could argue that there would be more grievous sins that the seven chosen by these early church leaders. Nietzsche, for example, argued that cruelty, savagery, indifference to human suffering, tyranny, ethnic hatred, religious persecution, and racial bigotry, were all more deadly than the ones listed. I would like to suggest that any list of ethical dilemmas set by a human or groups of humans consistently has a political element to it. In other words, the social situation of the community is reflected in the ethical concerns brought to the forefront of any discussion.
Today’s sermon will focus on the sin of pride and the virtue of humility… or saying it in a positive way: worthiness. When the early church leaders put together the list of sins, pride came first on the list. Pride elicits idolatry and even worship of ourselves. The English synonyms for proud include arrogant, haughty, conceited, egocentric, narcissistic, insolent, presumptuous and vain. The Greeks called it hubris (thinking oneself superior to the gods). To be proud, in the classic sense, is to be out of place in the order of things, and not know one’s proper relationship to God. Our traditional text for today speaks of this sin:
The highway of the upright avoids evil; those who guard their way preserve their lives. Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be of a lowly spirit among the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud. Prov. 16: 17-19
Going back to the story of Charles Manson… the problem his mother had was not pride, but a lack of pride. She had a feeling of worthlessness. She had forgotten that she was precious in God’s eyes; that she was God’s masterpiece. That she was made for more than this.
Last year while I was on sabbatical, I traveled to Savannah Georgia. Whenever we went out to eat in what they call the Low Country, they brought a dish of fresh hot hushpuppies to the table when you sat down. These were not anything like the hushpuppies I have had in other places! These were warm, fresh out of the kitchen, delicious little bits of heaven in your mouth. Full of cornbread, spices, butter, and homemade goodness, these little fritters melt in your mouth! Just when you get to the end of the bowl, they bring more. You do not order them – and you cannot do anything to stop them. They just come to your table. They are free – they come when you sit down, whether you are just there for a drink or a meal!
That is the way it is with worthiness. You cannot do anything to earn it…. It just comes. Take a moment to look at the front of your bulletin. On it is a picture of a
father with his 2-month-old child. The unconditional love passed between them is what I am talking about. This child will grow up knowing she is worthy – not because of anything she has done, but because she is loved just by being.
Self-esteem has to do with talent and merit; we compare our abilities with the abilities of others and how we measure up to the standards of our society. Self-respect, on the other hand, has to do with the inherent value and dignity of all persons and is, by nature, noncomparative. The answer to the sin of arrogance or wrongful pride is knowing one’s self-worth; knowing that we are God’s own beloved.
Tuesday night, I was at Fiddler on the Roof at Century II. Many of you know the story. The Jews are kicked out of their beloved hometown, Anatevka. They are dispersed to various places around the world where they will have to make a new life, without their family and friends. It ends in sadness as they leave one another. This is representative of the Hebrew story over the millennia. Knowing that I was preaching on “worthiness – not pride,” I thought about how they played into this story of the chosen people in the Hebrew Bible.
Outside Century II after the play, my friend noticed a homeless person sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag. As the theater crowd passed by, the homeless person seemed oblivious. S/he did not move or beg for money. Apparently asleep in the sleeping bag, the homeless person slept through the crowd passing by. My thoughts turned again. Did this precious soul know his or her worth in the eyes of God? Did the crowd notice? Did we recognize that the tears we shed for the people of Anatevka in the theater (who were pushed out of their hometown because of their race and religion) were connected to the plight of this person? That all of God’s children have inherent worth? That all of them were made for more than this?
When faced with the sin of puffed-up pride, the answer is often to learn our inherent worth as a beloved child of God.
Resources Used:
Meyers, Robin R. “The Virtue in the Vice; Finding Seven Lively Virtues in the Seven Deadly Sins”. Deerfield Beach Florida: Health Communications, Inc. 2004

The Virtue in the Vice: Communion, not Gluttony

The Virtue in the Vice: Communion, not Gluttony

Robin McGonigle
University Congregational Church
April 3, 2022

I Cor. 11:17-34
One of the lost things I missed most during Covid was a delightful, fine meal, eaten slowly with beloved friends at a nice restaurant. An evening out in the company of good friends lingering over a glass of wine at a table is one of life’s great blessing. In the Bible, one of the great metaphors for the kindom of God is a banquet – and many of us can imagine why. When we dine with others we love and enjoy tasty food – well, it is delightful.
Food is a good thing… a necessity for life itself. But too much of a good thing is not good for us. Gluttony is listed as one of the seven deadly sins. It is sad to note that while much of the world is starving, Americans eat ourselves (literally) to death. 60% or more of us are overweight. Gluttony is not only about eating too much – it is about eating for the wrong reasons. Gluttony is about a deeper hunger in the soul itself. Gluttony can include trying to fill that hunger in the soul with alcohol and other drugs. In fact, gluttony is often closely related to lust and to sloth.
I will also point out that gluttony is self-indulgent and contributes to the societal problem of others not having enough. As Robin Meyers’ notes in his book, The Virtue in the Vice, “We walk down city streets on our way to the newest restaurant, making sure that we step over or around the homeless. We are offended if they ask for spare change, but we spend more on a bottle of wine than it would cost to feed and clothe them for a month. Gluttony is not just irrational. It is immoral.”
As we have in this sermon series, we are not focusing on the vice – instead, we are looking at the virtue in the vice. For this week, the virtue in gluttony is communion! While many of us in this congregation may think that the highest and most sacramental form of eating in the church is fellowship time or potluck
dinners, it is not! Unlike gluttony, communion satisfies the hungry heart. It is obvious that the small portion of food and drink we receive from the communion table is not enough to fill the stomach, but somehow, there is always enough for everyone at the table.
The difference is between quality and quantity. With communion, we eat to live – not live to eat. As Robin Meyers’ writes, “Communion… connects us to the earth, to thankfulness, and to the author of every good and perfect gift… the opposite of a glutton is not (someone) who counts out beans on his (or her) plate and drinks water without ice. The opposite of a glutton is a (person) for whom food is a means to an end, not an end unto itself. It is (a person) who uses food and loves people.”
Food brings us together. As a parent, I thought that one of the most important places in our family home was the dining table. At the table, I encouraged my children how to eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. I also taught them how to set a table with silverware and good dishes. I taught them how to have conversation with others, including adults, about important things –
• the events of their day food
• things happening in the community
• world events
• ideas
• subjects of interest to them and others
• questions of moral and ethical importance
• express gratitude
A number of people have commented that my children were able to converse with adults at an early age. I believe they learned these things at the dinner table. Having a theology of food is important. The Bible spells out, in many locations, teachings about how and what to eat and the theological significance of food. One such place there is a specific teaching about food is our traditional word for today: Now in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. For, to begin with, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you; and to some
extent I believe it. Indeed, there have to be factions among you, for only so will it become clear who among you are genuine. When you come together, it is not really to eat the Lord’s supper. For when the time comes to eat, each of you goes ahead with your own supper, and one goes hungry and another becomes drunk. What! Do you not have homes to eat and drink in? Or do you show contempt for the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What should I say to you? Should I commend you? In this matter I do not commend you! For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way he took the cup also, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes. Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be answerable for the body and blood of the Lord. Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For all who eat and drink without discerning the body, eat and drink judgment against themselves. For this reason many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world. So then, my brothers and sisters, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. If you are hungry, eat at home, so that when you come together, it will not be for your condemnation. I Cor. 11:17-34 The apostle Paul was offering in this writing a theology of communion and of eating together. When Christians eat together – whether it is at communion (a symbolic meal) or just at a dining table in someone’s home – we share mutuality and respect. We do not belly up to a trough and gulp or slobber. We look one another in the eyes, share words of hope and encouragement and share nourishment for the soul. The purpose is to share what we eat, but it bonds us as friends. My New Testament professor and mentor Dennis Smith authored books about this and always claimed that those who shared in a common meal had a social obligation to one another. If I share a meal with you, I have an obligation to you… I am bound to you. He is echoing the apostle Paul’s warnings in I Cor.
Even eating alone can be a sacramental experience. The food is still a blessing, and the spirit of God is the unnamed table guest. We are grateful because we have available food. We are among the privileged of the world. Food is not morally neutral; it is precious because it sustains what is precious – the creation of God. Millions of people do not have enough food. The virtue of communion is the antidote to gluttony. Associated with communion are community and thankfulness. These qualities turn all eating into a communion of sorts. Communion is what turns every table from a trough into an altar. As Meyers’ writes, “Gluttony teaches us to devour, while communion teaches us to savor.” Let me end with a story. It was 1991 in Tulsa, Oklahoma. 9,000 people had gathered from all over the world to elect a new General Minister for my denomination. The candidate who was nominated was Rev. Dr. Michael Kinnamon, one of the most prominent and influential ecumenical leaders and educators of our time. He later served as the General Secretary of the National Council of Churches of Christ. He was a seminary and university professor and served as Dean of Lexington Theological Seminary. But there was one problem. He was accepting of LGBTQ people. The vote on Dr. Kinnamon was divisive at the assembly and required 67% approval. Some congregations bussed people in from across the country to sway the vote. Out of the nearly 9,000 in attendance, the vote was not approved by about sixty votes. The sting and disillusionment I felt with the vote went to my very soul. I did not know if I could stay with the church or in ministry after the cruel things that were said. It was a crushing defeat for many of us who thought Dr. Kinnamon was the right person to lead our denomination into a bright new future of ecumenicism and unity. The next morning, 9,000 people dispersed to the many congregations in Tulsa to worship – as is the custom at these assemblies. Dr. Kinnamon had been invited to preach at a small church and it overflowed with people 2 hours before the worship service began. People were sitting on the floor in the aisles and on the chancel. People were standing in the foyer and Sunday School classroom, where the sound was piped in. There were people standing outside and the windows were open. The church was packed to overflowing. It just so happened that I was standing in an aisle near Dr. Kinnamon’s wife, whom I had never met. She was also a minister. When the communion plates came to her – it was obvious that this small congregation had not prepared for the overwhelming numbers of
people who came that morning. A few small communion chips were left in the plate and only 5-6 cups on juice were left and many rows of people were remaining. This faithful woman took quick inventory and did something shocking. She took a small communion chip in her palm and crushed it and shared it with many around her (at least twenty of us), offering us a crumble and said, “This is the bread of heaven.” And then she dipped her finger in the cup and touched our lips and said, “This is the cup of life.” It was a moment I will always remember. My parched and empty soul was filled to overflowing. I went home from the assembly renewed and ready to work even harder for my values! A simple shared meal is the principal sacrament of human existence. We live around the table, and in sharing our lives – not just our bread – we are satisfied. The tiny bits of bread and wine at the table we share during communion are not quantified as much. But if you find that quality and add the community to it – it is more than enough to fill our souls to overflowing.
Resources Used:
Meyers, Robin R. “The Virtue in the Vice”. Deerfield Beech, Florida: Health Communications, Inc. 2004.

“The Way of the Other:  We are ALL Others”

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

Jan. 2, 2022

“The Way of the Other:  We are ALL Others”

Matt. 7:12

“In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.”                                                                                 Matthew 7:12

“Do to others.”  Who is this “other”?  The Bible is chock full of stories about “the other.” 

  • There is the Prodigal Son – the son who wants his early inheritance and goes out to spend it on wine and women!
  • And then there is the other sheep – the one who gets lost when all the good sheep are safe in the pen with their shepherd.
  • We are to “turn the other cheek;” “carry one another’s burden’s;” “treat one another as we want to be treated;” “forgive one another;” and “love one another” as God loves us.

One of our contemporary word quotes for today comes from Kamand Kojouri and says, “We reveal most about ourselves when we speak about others.”  I really like this!  What we say about our friends tells something about us.  But what we say about everyone else tells even more about us!  How we treat one another tells so much about our own character.

When we were growing up, my brother and I were encouraged to memorize scripture.  He is four years younger than me, so I was quite amused when he misquoted our traditional word for today.  He regularly and repeatedly (and I think purposely) got it wrong when he said, “Do unto others as they do to you!”  Unfortunately, there are many adults who function as if this is a reasonable way to treat people.  Do as they do, instead of do as you would want them to do to you.

Repeatedly, the New Testament writers exhort believers to engage in specific activities and attitudes toward those “outside” their normal circles.  As spiritual teacher, the late Henri Nouwen wrote, “Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring people over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines.” 

The Greek word alle´lon (pronounced al-lay’-lone), translated as “one another” is used 58 times in the New Testament. Paul utilized it most often, using it 40 of the 58 instances in the New Testament. Since some of them are repeated, for instance “love one another” is found 17 times in the New Testament, or almost one-third of the total, we end up with 22 separate “one another” commands.

When you take them all together, you realize that this is an important, though neglected, New Testament priority.  Andy Stanley said of the early church: “The primary activity of the church was one-anothering one another.”  What does it mean to “one-another” one another?  It can look like offering a ride; sending a card; taking a meal; offering a hug; calling on the phone to show support; surprising someone with a token gift or note; meeting them for coffee; inviting them over for an evening; taking time to listen… the list is endless.  And frankly, friends, at UCC during COVID, we need to do more of this.  We need to one-another one another.  It has been a long 2 years.  And we are all increasingly feeling like “others.”

Over the next few weeks, we are going to look a few of these significant actions or attitudes Christians ought to have toward one another.  Each week, we will look at a Biblical story with someone who was an outsider at the center… and what we can learn from the story and the outsider.  We will look at:

            -Jonathan and David

            -Elijah & the 8th century prophets

            -the pagans and the Gnostics

            -Paul & Thecla

            -Ruth & Naomi

            -Cornelius, the Centurion & Simon the Tanner

            -The Good Samaritan

And today, we are going to even talk about how each one of us is an “other.”  I will not ask you to raise hands… but if we are to be honest, my guess is that all of us feel like an “other” periodically.  It is easy to trick our inner dialog into thinking that everyone else feels like they belong and that we are one of the few who feel left out.   The truth is that the most popular, the prettiest, and the best among us also feel alone.  We all feel lost at times.  We all feel isolated and left out.  We all want to be included.  We can all feel anxious.

But, as Desmond Tutu, who was a wise advocate for the inclusion of all people during Apartheid in South Africa said, “In God’s family, there are no outsiders, no enemies.”  I loved that man.  I was so blessed to hear him speak at a Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) General Assembly in 1989, and though he was small in stature, his authentic presence and his genuine smile captured the large room with 6,000 in attendance.   “In God’s family, there are no outsiders, no enemies.” 

To treat one another as we want to be treated, we must employ empathy.  And to employ empathy, we need to understand their perspective.  Here are some ways to increase our empathy… we can ask them friendly questions about their point of view.  This is not only good practice, but also an imperative for Christian living.

1. We might be wrong, and they might be right.

In Acts 17, Luke contrasted two groups of people, the Jews in Berea and the Jews in Thessalonica. I am certain both groups of Jews were diligent students of Scripture, but what made the Jews in Berea “more noble” than those in Thessalonica was their willingness to listen to another perspective about Scripture. The apostle Paul came to each city and preached a brand-new idea. One group disagreed and refused to even listen to Paul’s differing perspective. But the Bereans listened eagerly, comparing what Paul said to Scripture “to see if these things were so” (Acts 17:11).

We ALL assume we are right about what we think. When we hear something that differs with our opinion, we say, “I disagree!” But we need to learn to say, “Tell me more; I want to understand where you’re coming from,” because it may turn out they are right, and we are wrong.

If we are going to be people who learn and grow, we must stop looking to win arguments and start looking to discover truth.

2. We need to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Loving your neighbor as yourself means “whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.”

  • We want others to take time to hear us out – so we need to do it for them.
  • We want others to try to understand where we are coming from – so we need to try to understand them.
  • We appreciate when people try to understand what we are saying before writing us off – so we need to try to offer the same to them.

Let us treat our neighbor the way we want to be treated. Let us try to understand where they are coming from; if for no other reason than that is what we wish others would do for us.

This does not mean you have to accept their position as being correct. It does not even mean you cannot try to change their mind. But it does mean we recognize it is NOT loving to try to persuade someone before you even understand them. Strive to understand before you strive to be understood.

3. We need to know what is (and is not) honorable in their sight.

In Romans 12, the apostle Paul was explaining what it looks like to live in step with the gospel. He was explaining how Christians are to treat one another, their neighbors, and even their enemies. In verse 17 he says, “give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.” That is a command that would totally transform our lives, if we would let it.

The phrase, “give thought” means to “consider in advance.” It is forethought. Paul says we need to consider in advance “to do what is honorable in the sight of all.” In other words, give forethought to how other people will perceive our actions. How can we give forethought to that unless we first understand our neighbors’ point of view?

To be a person of truly Christian conduct, we MUST find out how other people think. We must try to see things through their eyes. We must try to see ourselves, our words, and our behavior through their eyes. This is the only way we can “live peaceably with all” (vs. 18).

It might be a cultural issue like “Black Lives Matter.” It might be a political issue like which party or candidate to support. It might be a religious issue like how to worship. The question is, do we really understand the other’s perspective? Have we sat down with people who hold another point of view? Have we just listened? Have we said, “Would you explain this to me? I really want to understand.”

I would like to see people doing this more often – listening to one another… trying to understand other perspectives. To seek to understand before seeking to be understood…. Treating one another the way we would like to be treated… offering empathy instead of judgement… realizing that we are all “the other” at some point.

If everyone listening today would employ these actions this week, we could impact our community in a direct way!

Resources Used:

Radicallychristian.com  “Why You Need to Try to Understand Other People’s Perspectives”.  By Wes McAdams.  Sept. 21, 2016.