Robin McGonigle
University Congregational Church
July 3, 2022
My Neighbor’s Faith: Nabil Seyam
Matt. 22:36-40
As part of our on-going sermon series about how to love our neighbor who is different from us, and in celebration of our nation’s birthday this weekend, I want to tell you about my late friend, Nabil Seyam.
Our sermon series focuses on these verses from Matt. 22:36-40:
“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
Nabil went from selling eggs in front of mosques to feed his family and living in captivity under Saddam Hussein and eventually lived the American dream here in Wichita, Kansas. He was a leader in the Wichita Islamic Society of Wichita and the co-founder of the Annoor Islamic School. But let me start at the beginning of Nabil’s story. He grew up in a poor Palestinian home in Kuwait. He was the oldest in his family and had five sisters and four brothers. His family of twelve lived in a 2-bedroom apartment with one bathroom. They had bunk beds all over the place, and blankets for those who slept on the floor. The family was extremely poor. Nabil remembered their breakfast being the best in the world! His mother saved old, hard pita bread and cut it into small pieces and the dumped it into hot tea. Fancy breakfast at Nabil’s childhood home was fried eggs, white cheese, and olives. They always ate all their meals together, with the whole family of twelve eating from the same steel dish.
High school was about fifteen miles away and they had to pay a bus driver to pick them up. If the bus did not show up, they had to walk the fifteen miles in the heat of Kuwait. By the time they got to school, they were exhausted and sweaty
and had missed much of the school day. But they never thought about skipping class 0 because it might mean failing the year. By the time they graduated from high school, they had already taken calculus 1,2, and 3, biology 1 & 2, physics 1 & 2, chemistry 1 & 2, English or French, and many other disciplines. If you flunked one course, you had to repeat the entire year and all the courses over again.
Nabil came to Pittsburg State University and then WSU and graduated with a degree in Industrial Engineering. He married an American woman, Carrie, and became a U.S. citizen, but he and Carrie moved back to Kuwait to raise their children there. When Iraq bombed Kuwait in 1990, Nabil lost his job and was arrested, beaten, taken prisoner, and held in Baghdad as a hostage because he held U.S. citizenship. He met Jesse Jackson, singer Cat Stevens, and other celebrities who were trying to free the prisoners from Saddam. Nabil’s 3rd child was born while he was in captivity. Because he was a U.S. citizen, the American diplomats in Baghdad were able to negotiate his freedom and he was released. The experience left him nearly penniless and jobless. Kuwait was too dangerous for him. When he was released, CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS interviewed him. He was flown to Amman, Jordan. Ironically, he almost became a captive in Jordan again!
Through a few people his extended family knew, Nabil was able to escape Jordan and flew to Wichita. After 4 months on food stamps and living with his in-laws, he found a job as an engineering inspector. He started studying for a master’s degree in safety engineering. He continued working and studying and earned his Ph.D. in safety engineering.
Nabil was a man of deep faith. When he came back to Wichita, he dedicated himself to the Islamic Society of Wichita and to developing an Islamic School for his children. In 1994, the enrollment jumped from 23 to 125 students. Nabil wanted to establish a full-time Islamic school by 1996. He visited hundreds of churches in Wichita before speaking to me. I immediately told him that I thought we could partner at the church I was serving, but I knew the board had the final decision. Ultimately, we agreed. Nabil came under criticism from his own Muslim community. Some called him an “unbeliever” and others refused to say Salam – “peace” when they saw him. He received dirty looks.
The relationship between us grew. We had many social activities, potlucks and religious gatherings between the Christians and the Muslims. The first year of the Annoor Islamic school was a tremendous success. The students learned Arabic, Qur’an, Islamic studies, and a curriculum drawn from the Wichita Public Schools. Nabil was called a “conservative Muslim” and a “liberal Muslim” all in the same day by his peers. He wrote, “Serving God is an opportunity only those who are fortunate may utilize correctly. I am like any Christian who is volunteering his time for the church.” Being the director of the board makes me even more responsible to attend the prayers and oversee the demands of the community.”
One of the things I learned from Nabil was that many Muslims come from countries with dictatorships and governments where no one is allowed to say anything openly and spies are rampant. Distrust of government is something they know well. When they come to the United States, their mentality is the same. It does not change overnight, of course. Giving their personal opinion or speaking openly in public is not something they do willingly. It feels risky and unnecessary. Nabil’s guess is that 1 in 1,000 immigrant Muslims are willing to take this risk after 9-11.
Nabil became a corporate director of health and safety for an international company and oversaw many plants. He lived in an upscale Wichita neighborhood on a golf course. He spoke about the Qur’an’s mandates for moral living and building peace and justice. Nabil was the recipient of the Leader of the Year in Wichita in 2002. He hosted a popular television series on KPTS called ZYGO. And served on the Visioneering Wichita Steering Committee.
Nabil was killed in a car accident in October 2006.
Nabil taught me much about interfaith dialog, about Islam and about my own faith. One day, he came in my office, and I could tell right away he was angry. He asked, “Did we have communion when we were together yesterday”?
“Absolutely not!” I answered. I knew that Muslims thought Christians use of communion was cannibalism… that eating and drinking the body and blood of
Christ was the same as cannibalism and that they would not do that. Of course we would never share communion with Muslims – it would be a misuse of our own sacrament and insulting to both Christians and Muslims.
“I knew we didn’t,” he said, “but I have a woman in our community who is causing problems.”
“Ah.” This was a problem I understood. When we had joint celebrations, there were almost always misunderstandings and people who gossiped afterward. Often, they were people who did not even attend the celebration. As the years went on, this happened less often, but at first, people from both of our communities participated. “Please let me know what happens,” I said.
The next day, I checked in with Nabil to see how things transpired. It turned out that his board met with the woman and had her list the people she spoke to about the alleged communion. After she made the list, they required her to call each person IN FRONT OF THE BOARD and admit that she was not present for the event and that she lied. She also was required to ask each person to contact those they talked to and tell those people what they now knew. In addition, the board wrote a letter to each member of the community (some 3,000 people) explaining that no communion was received and asked the woman in question to write an apology letter. They prepared the mailing, and she was required to pay for the printing and postage for the mailing.
I learned from Nabil and the Islamic community that it is important to require those who cause trouble and gossip to be held accountable. Addressing those situations openly and immediately may be embarrassing and awkward, but they save difficulty in the long run!
Christians are very curious about the Islamic concept of Jihad. I watched repeatedly how Nabil answered this question when asked. “What would your reaction be if I said to you that I am gay?” he would respond. The Christian would stumble with a reply. Nabil rescued them eventually. “That word has multiple meanings in the English language. I was simply saying that I am happy, but it depends on whom, how and when you use the word. The same is true of Jihad.”
It turns out that Jihad is an Arabic word meaning to struggle, to seek self-improvement, to derive solutions, to come closer to God and to fight oppression. I am quoting from Nabil: “The teacher who struggles in class daily is conducting a form of Jihad; the mother or father who suffers harsh treatment and disrespect from their children is in a form of Jihad; and the believer who lives a godly life where evil surrounds him or her is in Jihad. To be a pious person is a form of Jihad and to defend yourself is a form of Jihad. Out of more than 54 Muslim countries, none has ever declared Jihad. In Islam, fighting is forbidden unless it is for self-defense. If the enemy calls for peace, peace should be accepted. Islam is the religion of peace and peace is the basis of all human relations. The term holy war does not exist in Islam. Al-Qaida, Taliban, and other Islamic groups misunderstand the interpretations of the verses of the Holy Qur’an. I believe with all my heart that those groups believe that what they are doing is 100% Islamic. We need to view every terrorist attack whether it was conducted by an individual or a group as an act independent of the faith even if the attacks were done in the name of religion. Adolf Hitler, Timothy McVeigh, David Koresh, and others do not represent the white man or Christianity. Bin Laden, Saddam, and the Taliban do not represent all Muslims or Islam.”
How do we love our neighbor as ourselves? I would like to tell you that it was simple to share our church with the Annoor Islamic school for 5 years. It was not always easy. There were cultural clashes and some bizarre differences that we had to overcome. It took a lot of communication. I would like to tell you that I always understood Nabil and he always understood me. I do not think that would be completely accurate. He was a Palestinian Muslim man in every sense of the word. I am an American Christian woman in every sense of the word. That brings with it misunderstandings and conflicts. I do know that when 9-11 happened Nabil was my first thought and my second call after my family. I trusted and respected Nabil. In our own ways, we considered ourselves brother and sister and we shared a very sacred love of God.
Resources Used:
Nabil Seyam, Ph.D. “An American Hostage in Iraq.” Bloomington: Author House. 2004.

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

June 5, 2022

My Neighbor’s Faith: The Hijabi Monologues

I Cor. 11: 4-6, 13-15

This morning, we are starting a new sermon series, “My Neighbor’s Faith,” which will compare the faith of our friends and neighbors.  Instead of telling you about a different faith each week, Paul and I want to share some experiences that people of various faiths have with one another.  We think it will help us all understand each other better.  I believe that we can be enriched by one another’s faith and wisdom and insights into the ways of God. 

When I was a teenager, I sang solos for the Christian Science congregation every month.  I was a member of the United Methodist congregation.  My mom was a Presbyterian.  I studied various religious traditions.  These religious traditions taught me that mutual love and respect was key.

While we are using a book entitled “My Neighbor’s Faith,” which is a series of essays by fifty-three different authors, we are drawing from only a few of those essays as well as our own experiences.  Interfaith dialogue is an important aspect of understanding one another.  It is also an essential part of understanding one’s own faith!  Until we know what others believe, it is difficult to distinguish our own beliefs and truly know why we believe what we believe.  Jonathan Edwards said, “We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough religion to make us love one another.” 

The truth is that at its roots all religion speaks of the Mystery of Life that seeded all of us into life, that holds the cosmos in Being, that is the ultimate End of all our hope.  It is the Unity for which we seek, the Oneness of Life that has many faces and speaks in many tongues.         (From Joan Chittister)

Several years ago, when I was on my annual trek to Maine, my cousin and I were intrigued by a play at the University of Maine in Augusta, called “The Hijabi Monologues.”  A hijabi is not an Arabic word but is a part of the Muslim American lingo and refers to a Muslim woman who wears a headscarf.  The monologues are based on true experiences of Muslim women in North America – not just their head coverings.

Many religious traditions have a custom of head coverings – for women or men, or both.  In fact, the practice of people wearing head covers and veils for religious purposes is an integral part of all three monotheistic religions (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam), as well as other faiths and cultures. The first records of women wearing head coverings dates back to 13th century BCE in Assyria. Women of nobility began wearing head coverings in order to set themselves apart from women of lower social status. 

• In the Roman Catholic church, veils are part of the habit worn by some orders of nuns or religious sisters.

• Veils come in assorted sizes and shapes depending on the religious order. The wearing of chapel veils was part of the early Christian tradition. It signified humility and modesty. Of course, many brides of both Protestant, Roman Catholic and non-religious traditions still wear veils. The tradition is not to be seen as a woman displaying inferior status to men. Rather, the veil covers what is sacred and cherished.
• A Kamilavka is a cylindrical hat worn in Eastern Orthodoxy by men and women and is also covered with a veil.
• Bishops in the Roman-Catholic Church wear a miter.  It is a tall, peaked hat with a deep cleft on both sides. And two ribbons at the back symbolize the Old and New Testaments.]

• A sheitel is a wig worn by Jewish women to cover the head.
• A Tichel (literally meaning, cloths) are scarves that are worn either over a wig or their own hair by Jewish women.  The word Tichel is Yiddish in origin.  Jewish women are obligated to wear a tichel in synagogue.
• The practice of men wearing yarmulkes is an ancient tradition for Jewish men and boys that honors God’s presence.  Jewish law requires men and boys to cover their head when they pray, at synagogues or Jewish cemeteries, and while studying Judaism.
• Sikh men and women view the dastar (a type of turban) as an article of faith representing honor, self-respect, courage, spirituality, and piety. Wearing a dastar is also practical because it keeps long, uncut, and unruly hair covered.
• Amish women of cover their heads with a simple white or black organdy head bonnet. They pin their long hair up underneath these prayer head coverings, removing them in the evening. The style, shape, and color of the cap varies by community. Amish men always wear a distinctive type of straw hat when they are out of the house.

When we, as Americans, are critical of Middle Eastern women covering their heads and assert that it is sexist, we show our ignorance about head coverings in many other religious traditions for both men and women for millennium.  We would not say the same of a Jewish man who wears a yarmulke or an Amish man who wears a straw hat or a Jewish woman who wears a wig.  All of these head coverings are for the purpose of honoring God and showing self-respect, courage, and piety.

This is our traditional word from I Cor. 11: 4-6 & 13-15:   But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ. Any man who prays or prophesies with something on his head shames his head,but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled shames her head—it is one and the same thing as having her head shaved.  Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head unveiled? Does not nature itself teach you that, if a man wears long hair, it is dishonoring to him,but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

The Hijabi Monologues is a series of monologues by Muslim women, some who wore hijabs, one who wore a burka, and a couple who did not cover their heads.  The play opened my eyes to the experiences of Muslim women in America; not simply why they veil or do not, but who they are inside and what their faith is about.  The stories are sad and funny; and represent the experiences of older and younger women.  I remembered my friend, Nabil Seyam, when I asked him why some in the Islamic Society of Wichita, had women who wore a hijab and others did not, responded, “Robin, do all of your parishioners practice their faith in exactly the same way?”  And I snorted my response.  I realized that my question to him was an ignorant one indeed.  Of course, Muslim people have a variety of ways to express their faith – some are more observant and exacting with their practices than others.

The Hijabi Monologues begins with a monologue called “I’m Tired.”  It is a story that expresses the frustration of feeling that one is constantly called upon to represent all people of the Muslim faith because she is the only Muslim people in her circle know.  She also feels the pressure of having to always be a model citizen.  It is a daunting role, especially when people ask questions of her – expecting an answer that characterizes the whole of Islam – as if she knows what every Muslim believes or thinks about any given topic! 

The next monologue is “The Football Story.”  It is a tale of two young women in college, one with a cloth that covers her face, who attend a major college football game and they end up praying in the ABC sports new trailer during the game when the time of prayer comes!

I was reminded of this powerful play when I was preparing for our sermon series.  So, I looked and found the monologues!  Of course, it would be inappropriate for me to perform any of the monologues for you as a white American Christian.  But I want to tell you about one of the monologues.  It is titled “The People You Meet.”

The woman on stage (who wears a hijab but is clearly an Islamic American) starts by exclaiming that she has met some people she will never forget – for the rest of her life!  And she wonders if it is random or if there is some greater purpose in the meeting.  Then she names the type of people she has met.  The first is the liberal integrationist!  She met them in a modern British poetry class and found it inspiring to see them fascinated to study poetry for the sake of poetry.  But at the end of the semester, they approached her to say what a pleasure it had been to meet her with these words, “My dear, your accent is simply excellent.  It is so American.  Keep it up!”

The next person she is describes she calls the Democratizing-Women’s Rights-World Peace Activist!  She says she met this woman right after Afghanistan was bombed by the US and some people were feeling guilt about freeing Afghani women from the clutches of what she describes as “evil brown men.”  This woman approached her in a parking lot.  “Honey, honey, I have to tell you something!”  “Honey, you’re free!”

“What?”

“Honey, Mullah Omar can’t get you!”

“But, ma’am, I don’t know Mullah Omar…?”

She looked confused, “But you are free!  Talibans and Afghans are free!”

She was incredibly sweet, so the Hajabi woman politely noted, “I’m sorry, Ma’am; I don’t know Mullah Omar.”

“Where are you from?”

“Fort Lauderdale”

“Oh… Fort Lau-der-dale?” she said it slowly while looking up and down and wondering if it was a city in – perhaps – Saudi Arabia.

And then there was the Cultural Anthropologist.  He walked behind her for several minutes before asking, “So, could you tell me.  I have been so curious.  I notice some girls wear black coverings.  But you are wearing purple.  Is it a cue of tribal interstitial kinships?  An artifact of a cultural paradigmatic shift?  A sacrificial ritualistic positioning of power within your ingroup?  Really, why purple?”

“Uhm, well, I guess because it matches with my…. Dress?”

“Oh.  It matches…”

Finally, there was the creepy Neo-Nazi.  They were standing together at the train stop and he offered her a cigarette.  She declined.  He followed her onto the train once it stopped and asked, “So, what do you think of that problem over there?”

“Over where?”

“You know, over there.  The Jews.  The Muslims.”

She says she felt her scarf sticking to her sweaty neck.

“What do you mean?  Are you referring to the Palestinian-Israeli conflict?”

Then he told her that he thought Jews should be exterminated.

She noticed then, when she looked down at her own brown hands and then glanced at his hands that he had a small swastika tattooed on his wrist.  She stepped off the train at the next stop.

However, she offers, sometimes you meet that human being who is also in search of meaning and looking for someone who might understand.  When she was in the library one morning, someone put a note beside her.  A young, heavy-set woman quickly walked away, wiping tears from her eyes.  She picked up the note, unfolded it and read what was written inside to her: “In these times when women are confronted with intense pressure to conform and achieve impossible standards of beauty, you have made the choice to be different.  Thank you for being an inspiration.  You make me realize there’s hope.”

And, she noted, these were the moments that made all the others pale… and give her hope. 

Resources Used:

     “My Neighbor’s Faith” edited by Jennifer Howe Peace or N. Rose & Gregory Mobley.  New York: Orbis Books.  2021.

     “The Hijabi Monologues Project Manual and Script.”  Sahar Ishtiaque Ullah.  2009.  https://serendipstudio.org

https://www.headcovers.com/resources/hats-scarves/religious-head-coverings

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

May 29, 2022

After the Rain: Forgiveness

Proverbs 17:9; Matt. 6:14; Eph. 4:31

The late Bishop Lance Webb used to tell a story about a 5-year-old boy who misbehaved.  His mother decided to give him a bit of quiet time. She had a large closet.  So, she pushed back the hangers in the closet so there would be room for his chair.  She turned on the light and told him he would have to stay in the closet for 30 minutes.  She heard strange sounds inside the closet, then everything got quiet.  The mother was curious, so she opened the door. “Jimmy,” she asked, “what on earth are you doing?”  The little boy replied defiantly, “I just pulled all your clothes down and spit on them.  I spit on your shoes, too.  Now I am just sitting here waiting on more spit.”

We may know some grownups who get angry and react the same way, at least metaphorically.  You can look at them and tell they are just sitting around waiting on more spit.  Indeed, all of us tend to harbor grievances against other people.

We all know that being forgiving is healthy. Medical science has linked a failure to forgive with all kinds of ailments, including stress, anxiety, depression, headaches, backaches, stomach distress, diabetes, hypertension, and heart problems.  Forgiveness is difficult, though.  Especially if someone who has hurt us is not sorry.   Jesus taught His disciples about forgiveness as He gave them His model prayer, The Lord’s Prayer.  New Testament scholar William Barclay called Matthew 6:12 the most dangerous petition in the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.”  When we pray this prayer, but we know we have an unsettled grudge against someone, we are asking God not to forgive us!

Proverbs 17:9 tells us:  Love prospers when a fault is forgiven but dwelling on it separates close friends.  To forgive is to let go.  To let go is to relinquish control and get acquainted with our vulnerability and our courage. 

I have considerable experience with forgiveness.  When I was a young adult, I believed that forgiving someone made me vulnerable.  But as time passed, I realized that I was the most vulnerable when I refused to forgive… and it was the worst kind of vulnerability – because I caused it by being a slave to my stubborn choice to hold on to another person’s problem.  By spending untold energy on what other people did, I allowed their problems to take up space in my life.  Refusing to forgive and let go caused me the most stress and pain – not the other person.

In Matt. 6:14, Jesus taught, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you.”  None of us is perfect.  We openly acknowledge it.  But when it comes down to it, we would prefer that others function as if they are perfect.  Furthermore, we kick ourselves when we are not perfect.  And we are often unwilling to give others the benefit of the doubt when they disappoint us.  We attribute guilt quickly and we condemn others quickly. 

In one church I served, there was a couple who participated in every aspect of the church’s life.  Everyone in the church agreed that this couple should be nominated for sainthood.  They were the most unselfish, loving, giving people I had ever met.  They had been members of the church for more than 40 years.  They lived with truly little – some would say they lived in poverty – by choice.  And they shared all that they had.  Often, the woman would take an item from the church and spruce it up at home or clean it and then return it.  This couple also had a huge garage sale at their home each year.  Sometimes, they took things that were donated to the church, had no practical use, and sold them at the garage sale and then donated the money to the church.

One day, another woman came into my office.  I could tell she was angry.  She had been looking for decorations in the storage room and she could not find them.  She wanted an answer to where they were, and she wanted someone to blame for the missing decorations.  I did not know what to tell her.  As she stomped out of my office, she said, “I bet so-and-so took those decorations home!”  The person she named was none other than the wonderful woman I just spoke about.  It was clear that she was insinuating that this beloved person had ill-intent with the missing decorations.  I could not believe my ears.  To name that person and say that she had evil intent was like slamming God herself!

I thought about this situation for a long time.  Then I realized that the woman who had been so angry was feeling bad that she could not give as much of herself as the other woman.  She was jealous or resentful and needed someone to blame for her feelings.  She chose the most unlikely person so that she could make herself look better.  This woman had not experienced grace herself and she could not share it with anyone else, even someone who deserved it.

Why are we so hard on others?  Often it is because we have not taken the first step and forgiven ourselves for whatever we have done wrong.  We need to feel forgiveness in our own lives and know that freedom for ourselves.  You have heard the saying “Confession is good for the soul.” 

Ephesians 4:31 reminds us: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”  You have probably heard the phrase, “I will forgive, but I won’t forget” or something like that.  I understand the sentiment, even though it may not be the best practice for true forgiveness.  You may remember Clara Barton founded the American Red Cross. On day, a reporter asked her about an especially cruel thing that had been done to her years before. Miss Barton seemed not to recall the incident. “Don’t you remember?” asked the reporter. “No,” said Miss Barton, “I distinctly remember forgetting that incident.”

Allow the joy and freedom of God’s and your own forgiveness to overwhelm and excite you.  Once you know this peace, you can share it with others.  This does not mean that we allow ourselves to be victims again or allow someone to hurt us over again – but it does indicate that we can offer grace to them as we have experienced it.

Forgiveness does not mean excusing something or pretending it did not happen. Some people think if you forgive someone who has bullied, cheated, or abused you, you must pretend the offense did not really happen or that it was not so bad after all.  Not so!  Nor does it mean you have to expose yourself to more bullying, cheating or abuse.  The idea is not to distort reality.  To forgive is to cleanse your heart of poison, the poison of resentment.  That poison can wreck your relationship with God, spoil your disposition, harm you physically and steal your joy.

Forgiveness is not the same thing as pardon.  You may forgive someone who wronged you while still insisting on a just punishment for that wrong.  If someone breaks into your car and steals your possessions, then the police arrest the thief, you can and should forgive the person but still press charges.  The thief owes a debt to society. 

Consider what happened in South Africa.  After decades of apartheid and racial hatred, the structures of bigotry were dismantled.  A Truth and Reconciliation Commission was set up under the leadership of Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  If a person came before the commission and confessed his or her sins, he or she was forgiven.  Miraculously, the nation was able to cleanse itself of revenge.  Nelson Mandela was released from prison after 27 years and was elected President!  Archbishop Tutu authored a book titled No Future without Forgiveness. He claimed forgiveness will work all over the world! 

Forgiveness is not a burden, but a blessing.  When we forgive ourselves and others, we create a wide space in which growth is possible – new possibilities are available – where happiness, freedom and authenticity is celebrated!  This is what God intended for us – to live authentic and abundant lives – forgiven and free!

Resources Used:

     Elle, Alexandra.  “After the Rain; Gentle Reminders for Healing, Courage, and Self-Love”.  San Francisco: Chronicle Books.  2020.

     Bouknight, Bill.  “Stop Fuming, Start Forgiving!”  preaching.com.  

After the Rain: Acceptance

Romans 14: 10-19

The Serenity Prayer says, “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr composed the prayer in 1932–1933.  The prayer spread rapidly, often without attribution to Niebuhr, through church groups in the 1930s and 1940s and was adopted and popularized by Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step programs.  The rest of the prayer goes like this:

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Niebuhr was a perceptive thinker.  It is so important for us as adults to create room in our minds for understanding what we can and cannot control.  We can waste so much time trying to make people love/like us; see us talk to us; understand us.  Accepting what we cannot change is difficult indeed.

Acceptance isn’t rooted in trying to force others to be cognizant of their actions or demanding that they show up in ways they aren’t capable of.  It is the practice of doing our own personal work when it comes to being in relationships with people.  We may long for clarity as to why people act the way they do, but they do not owe us an explanation.

The early Christians in Rome had some difficulties that were real and troublesome!  The Christians in Rome were a diverse group of believers. These Roman congregations were made up of two entirely different groups of people. They consisted of Jewish converts who grew up with the Law, and traditions of the Hebrew Bible. They also consisted of Gentiles, or non-Jews. The ethnic ratio of these churches is unknown, but it is thought that there are more Gentiles since the Jews had been expelled from Rome just a few years prior to the writing of Romans.  But when you have Jewish converts with Gentile ones, a common question and problem always arises: what do you do with the old food laws and feast days?  The Jewish converts grew up with those traditions and rules while the Gentiles did not.

The Hebrew laws had prescribed the dos and don’ts for food in places like Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14.  In those chapters, we see what is okay for the Israelites to eat, and what is not okay for them to eat.  The people were not allowed to eat unclean animals like camel, eagles, reptiles, certain insects, mice, and rabbits.  Not too bad so far, right?  But this list also included other foods like shrimp, lobster, oysters, and crab.  They could not eat pork either.  So, no sausage, ham, pork chops, pepperoni, or America’s current favorite food, bacon!  They also could not eat blood, so no medium to rare steaks.  They could eat clean animals like fish, oxen, sheep, goats, cows, and deer though.

Others in the early church – probably the Gentiles, whom Paul refers to as “those who understood their freedom in Jesus” ate what they wanted and held all days as alike.  As you could imagine, with two completely different views on this issue, problems arose, and they did.  This led to quarreling and fights.  It led the ones who ate to despise the ones who didn’t. The ones who didn’t eat passed judgment on those who did.  You can almost picture Paul like a parent with fighting children who yells out: “Stop!”

As Christians, we can have quarrels and fights over similar things even though we are just Gentiles.  That is why there are 700+ congregations in Wichita alone!  We can find all kinds of things to disagree about.  Here is the text from Romans:

Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written,

“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
    and every tongue shall give praise to God.”

So then, each of us will be accountable to God.

Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. If your brother or sister is being injured by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let what you eat cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died. So do not let your good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. The one who thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and has human approval. Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.                                                                                           Romans 14: 10-19

What Paul is saying here is that if shrimp is a problem between you and another person in the church, don’t eat shrimp.  Shrimp isn’t as important as the love we share in Christ.

What Paul is arguing is that if you don’t like how the ushers are doing their job, don’t make it a problem because we need to pursue the things that make for peace and mutual upbuilding.

What Paul writes in this text is that if someone acts in a way that bothers us, or says something that annoys us, or wears something that doesn’t quite fit our image of appropriate or does something that rubs us the wrong way… we are not to pass judgement on them!  Instead, we are to resolve to focus on our own actions.

What Paul tells the church in Rome is that the good of the community is more important than getting one’s own way.  That accepting the common good is more important than following the laws.  That peace and joy and love are better than passing judgment on another person.  That disagreements and misunderstandings happen, but love, compassion and community always triumph in the church.

What Paul is saying in this text is that we are free to eat and drink as we see fit – we are now free from the strict laws.  But we are not free to judge one another!

In fact, what Paul writes is, if you are so insistent on judging one another, judge this: how not to trip one another up!  Because when you cause someone in the community to make an error in their faith, you bring the whole community down.  Instead, Paul exhorts the people to take positive action to see how to make life easier for one another.  How can those who are strong in the community make life better or easier for those who are not as strong?

Christians, Paul insists, are the very last people, who should be judging others.  It is inappropriate.  It is not just about preventing squabbles and bad feelings in the church.  It is part of our essential Christian witness!  Genuine Christians grow to maturity at different rates and during this process one cannot hurry them to accept positions their conscience cannot allow.  Specifically, we must recognize that actual spiritual harm is caused to people when they are put in the position of being judged.

May God grant us the serenity

to accept the things we cannot change,

the courage to change the things we can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Resources Used:

Elle, Alexandra.  “After the Rain; Gentle Reminders for Healing, Courage, and Self-Love.”  San Francisco: Chronicle Books.  2020. 

“The New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary” vol. IX.  Nashville: Abingdon Press.  2015. 

wikipedia.org.  “The Serenity Prayer”.  April 8, 2022.

Sermoncentral.com.  “Food Fight!” By Nickolas Kooi.  Sept. 14, 2017. 

Robin McGonigle

University Congregational Church

April 17, 2022

Learn to Live by Dying!

John 12:20-24

John 20: 11-18

Our Easter text for this morning is from the gospel of John 20: 11-18:

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 

Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, “Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord;” and she told them that he had said these things to her.                                                                            John 20:11-18

As you may know, the Phoenix is a legendary bird known for its ability to live hundreds of years before dying in a burst of flames only to be reborn from the ashes. Variations of the legend exist in folklore throughout the world, and it is a common figure in popular culture today.

According to the most common myth, the Phoenix was a brightly colored immortal bird-like creature, like an eagle or a peacock, which lived in Paradise. After about a thousand years, the Phoenix grew tired of immortality and desired to move on, so it left Paradise for the mortal world. However, even in the mortal world, the Phoenix could not truly die. It built a nest and waited for the sun to rise. As the son god dragged his chariot across the sky, the Phoenix sang a song so beautiful that the sun god stopped to listen. When he resumed his journey, a spark fell from the sky and ignited the nest, consuming the Phoenix. Three days later, the Phoenix was reborn from the ashes to live another thousand years.                                                      Curioushistorian.com “Legend of the Phoenix”

As it has been Holy Week, I have been thinking about all things that lead from death to life.  Many of us have lived through enough seasons to recognize the rhythm of death and life in…

• Night and day
• Winter and spring
• Seedtime and harvest
• Labor and birth
• Divorce to a new lease on life
• Loss of a job to a new career
• Raising kids to empty nest
• Retirement to volunteering
• Loss of health to a new normal

It makes sense that death precedes new life, but it still can catch us off-guard.  Jesus taught this lesson just before he died.  It is recorded in the gospel of John 12:20-24:

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.      John 12:20-24

We all have a choice in how we live. It seems so simple when I say that statement, but the next time we are fried from a long day at work, taking a child to a doctor’s appointment, then coming home to things that must be done — it would be beneficial to remind ourselves, exactly, how we want to live our lives.  Are we allowing the grain of our life to die enough that it will end up bearing fruit?

Siblings Justin and James fought throughout their childhood years.  Nothing changed in college as they continued to fight for their parents’ affection and attention and for the #1 place.  Eventually, Justin decided to let it go.  For reasons he did not share, he decided his unhealthy rivalry with his brother needed to end.  He chose to let the need to be first and to be unconditionally understood to die.  It opened a completely new relationship with his brother, James.  Surprisingly, it also changed his relationship with his parents too!  Justin could tell anyone here that if you really want to live – try dying! This is what resurrection means.

Morrie Schwartz said, “The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”  It is not a morbid statement.  It is a wise way to look at life. I do not want to think about death any more than anyone else does. But it is a part of life we must accept.  How do you live your life, to the fullest, with gratefulness, appreciation for those you love, value the tiny moments you are present in, and pursue your true meaning and purpose in life if you do not have an idea of what you want your life to look like? How do we put the resurrection principle into our daily lives?

Take a moment to think back to our traditional text about Mary Magdalene weeping outside the tomb.  It is in your bulletin if you want to remind yourselves of the details.  This was a life altering moment for Mary.  She was at the foot of the cross with Mary the mother of Jesus and Mary the wife of Klopas.  We can infer that because her introduction consists only of her name, the story’s original hearers already knew who she was. 

Mary, standing outside, is weeping because grieving is the proper role of women in their culture. When Mary looks into the tomb, she sees two heavenly messengers.  This is the first hint that the possibility of grave robbery has given way to some heavenly realm.  Peter and the other student do not see heavenly messengers. They ask, “Lady, why are you crying?” To which Mary responds once more that the body is missing. Grave robbery was a normal occurrence in that time.  Resurrection was not.

Jesus speaks her name, “Mary.” Naming shifts the story towards the Genesis creation story where God calls creatures into life by naming them. Mary recognizes Jesus at the sound of his voice.  “She turns around and exclaims in Hebrew, ‘Rabbuni!’ (which means ‘Teacher’).”  Turns around? I thought she was already looking at Jesus and thinking he was the gardener. “To turn” is often used as a metaphor to turn towards God.  This is when Mary learns to live again because Jesus has died!  Along with Jesus, this was her resurrection day. This was the day she started a new life!

Jesus commissions Mary to “go to my brothers and tell them this: ‘I’m ascending to my God and your (plural) God.’” Here Jesus stresses mutuality and equality. He is not superior, but a brother.  Mary announces Jesus’ message to the students.  Just when she thought her life was over because of Jesus’ death, he gave her a new voice!  She became the first one to announce his resurrection – to the disciples, no less.  Scholar Brandon Scott calls this the Mary Magdalene Easter!

                        Westarinstitute.org “Mary Magdalene Easter” by Brandon Scott

Life, death, and new life.  Throughout our lives, we experience many small deaths and renewals as we grow into our true selves.  Resurrection means transformation.  As we die into new life, we grow into the people God would have us to be.  We become a resurrection people: a people of rejoicing, a people of hope, a people of journey and becoming.

Whenever you face a moment of death in your life – whether it is a child moving to college or the release of a friendship or the closing of a business or a job – take a moment to think about what opportunities lie ahead for a new life. This is not always easy given the very real struggle and suffering that come along with the death of something.  But let us be a people of journey and becoming, living into the fullness of love without constraint, life without fear or hate, and life without end. Let us be a people who sing Hallelujah even as we travel.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “No one really knows why they are alive until they know what they’d die for.”  How do you want those you love the most to see you? What impact do you want to make on your friends, family, and those around you? Is this not worth examination to help fuel a better soul within?  It is possible to live the life we choose by our actions each day.  What will Jesus resurrect in you today?